EweSpeak

Staying in the Loop

2011-12-04T10:15:00.000-08:00

Call to me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3

Two years ago, I wrote several posts on this blog about things that I felt God had placed in my heart - namely, homeschooling and getting out of debt. I was extremely passionate about these goals and felt sure that God was leading me in that direction.

At the same time, I really wanted to get involved in the decorating blog scene, since I would literally spend hours pouring over blog after blog. This is evident as you scroll through my blog list. With my creative juices flowing and feeling bursts of inspiration, I made lame attempts at posts related to decorating. As much as I enjoy that kind of thing, I just never caught on enough to make it work. Decorating, it seemed, is not what God intended for this particular blog.

When I take a look at how much closer I am, after two years of supposedly working toward the aforementioned goals, I feel disappointed in myself and ashamed, to be perfectly honest. While I believe them to be legitimately things of God, the fact that I didn't dedicate my efforts to seeing them through left a big, huge void in my life. My interest in decorating caused me to spend money that should have been used toward getting out of debt - it was counter-productive to what I was trying to accomplish.

My efforts at getting out of debt have been weak, to say the least. I lack self discipline and I have not been seeking God's guidance the way I should. The willingness to sacrifice in order to see my dreams come true just hasn't been there. Those other interests, even though they aren't inherently bad, have simply taken precedence in my life over the most important thing of all. The presence of God. I've prayed about it, but I'm thinking that until I'm willing to listen and obey, God just isn't going to bless my half-hearted efforts.

We can't serve two masters at the same time. I believe that to be my answer. I just can't serve God and Pottery Barn at the same time. Pottery Barn and blogs I enjoy aren't evil by any means, but they stir a spirit of covetousness in me, and that is where the problem lies. So much to the point that it could very well be called idolatry.

It's taken way too long for this Truth to sink in. I guess it came at the right time, though, when I'm bound and determined to align my priorities with God's will. One step at a time. It's good to have varied interests, and I still enjoy the blogs I follow, but now I know that I need to work them into my priorities where they won't drown out what's most important.

What about you? Do you have a hobby or interest that may unintentionally take precedence over God's presence in your life? It's so easy for that covetousness and idolatry to sneak in without even realizing it. Take my advice, ask God to reveal it to you and nip it in the bud before the years slip by and you miss out on His best for you. You'll be glad you did!

Lord, thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for answering my prayers when I call on you and for showing me great and mighty things. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Blessings,

Christmas Is Coming

2011-12-02T22:34:00.000-08:00

Greetings!

I've had such a wonderful day and I'm so glad it's Friday night! Friday night means I can stay up later than normal, can sleep until I wake up, rather than being rudely awakened by the alarm clock, and I can enjoy my Saturday morning coffee while browsing my favorite blogs. Friday nights are what I wait for all week.

Since Friday means fun to me, I thought I'd share some fun photos from last Christmas. This is the best time of year for me, by far. I love everything about the holidays. Everything except the fact that, living in the south, we never, ever have a white Christmas. Never, that is, until last year.

(these photos are straight from the camera and have not been edited, so please forgive the bad composition, poor lighting, and power lines)

Shortly after we opened our gifts on Christmas morning, we looked out the window and saw this...

Can you see them??

By golly, it's a blizzard outside!

This is the little country church across the road from our house. I just liked the way it looked in the snow.

I'm sure some folks from the north probably laughed hysterically at all the bumpkins down here getting so excited about a few flakes in the air. I spent a couple of winters in upstate New York, so I know how brutal the weather can be up there. I also recall the most beautiful of the many snowfalls being the very first of the season. Seemingly in slow motion, it falls so gently to the ground. It was so peaceful. And, other than the birth of my boys there, it was my fondest memory of life in that little northern town.

I think that's the appeal of these little snowfalls we get in the south. It isn't the amount of snow we get. It's the wonder of seeing the beauty of it falling from the sky and spreading a beautiful white blanket over the ground.

Plus, we don't have to deal with the black snow on the side of the roads in May.

We didn't really have enough snow to build a snowman or anything, but it sure was a sight to behold, for a little while, anyway.

Blessings,

SIMPLIFIZE

2011-12-01T21:37:00.000-08:00

So, I believe my last post was about six months ago. I barely even remember writing it. So much has happened, yet so little has changed.

I've been thinking about priorities lately. Mine are completely mixed up and chaotic at the current time. I need some peace in my life and I figure the way to achieve that is to simplify things. How do you simplify? Organize. How do you organize? Prioritize.

Organize, prioritize, and simplify. Or, "simplifize" for short.

That'll work.

I believe that I will dedicate the upcoming (and rapidly approaching) new year to simplifizing my life.

Seriously.

I want to get my priorities lined up with God's will in my life. I've done things my own way for long enough. It's time to start seeing some changes.

That reminds me of the saying I've heard many times before..."insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results." If that's true, then I believe I might just be certifiable.

In any case, to celebrate this new endeavor of mine (I refuse to call it a "resolution" because those are almost 100% of the time guaranteed to fail), I've begun my journey this week. It wasn't really something that I purposefully planned to happen at this particular time, but since it did, I will consider it my starting point. Besides, if I'd have tried it on my own, it likely wouldn't have happened. As it turns out, God worked it out, which makes it fool proof.

Speaking of which, the priority first on my list is God. It's a long, stinky story, best saved for another post...maybe...but my family and I stopped going to our church sometime in the spring of this year for some personal reasons. I still love God and have no intention of turning from my faith, but inevitably, leaving our church has left a very noticeable void in our lives. I don't spend as much time thinking about God as I used to (though it's been more, recently) and I certainly don't spend as much time with Him as I once did. Still not real sure exactly how much time I should spend with him every day or what time of day it should be, but that's part of the journey. I'm going to get together with God and figure that out. Best to take it one step at a time.

First step in successfully achieving Priority #1, join a small group. In fact, have one at the house and include the kids. Church at home on Wednesday nights, even. Well...we've at least started the small group at the house...every other Wednesday night. It all sort of just happened, and it's wonderful! A sweet, Godly lady named Teresa was introduced to me by my niece and she offered to teach a class with us every other Wednesday night. She's an awesome, very knowledgeable teacher of the Word. Our first class was last night. I'm so excited about it! Can hardly wait for the next one.

So, I'll be delving deeper into the book we're reading for this class and will share along the way. Please say a prayer for me as I begin the process of simplifizing my life.

Blessings,

Is This What It's All About?

2011-05-22T07:46:00.000-07:00

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then, I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. Philippians 2:14-16 (NIV)

Ever struggle with purpose?

I do. I find myself sinking deeper and deeper into a rut that is eight years in the making. Each weekday morning, I wake up at 6:00 a.m., press the snooze button on my phone approximately five times before getting up to make coffee, shower, and proceed with my daily routine of getting the kids up and out the door for school. All this while getting myself ready for work. After work, I come home too drained to be functional in any capacity worthy to be deemed "motherhood."

While I know it was a God-send at the time they hired me, and I know I should be thankful for having a job when so many people don't (and I am, I really am), my job is so completely unfulfilling to me that I find it a daily struggle to focus on the actual work that I do. I leave work most days feeling emotionally drained from the struggle to focus on why I'm there. I leave knowing my employer deserves more from me.

It isn't a "dirty job" as Mike Rowe would define it. And it isn't physically demanding. It's actually a relatively cushy job. I work with great people who have been good to me over the years. I earn a good salary and have great benefits.

But I ask myself every. single. day. Is this what it's all about? Is this all there is? If I'm consistent in anything, it's in grumbling and complaining about my job on a daily basis.

So, what is it about my job that causes me to complain? I've discovered that it isn't my job at all. Not really.

As I sit behind my desk at work each day, my mind wanders to my family - my husband and my kids. I think about what they might be doing or how much longer until the kids will be home from school. Wishing I was there to greet them at the door with homemade cookies and a big hug. Wishing I could hear all about their day while making their dinner. I think about the troubles they have and wish I could be there with them more to really listen to them. Wishing I wasn't so impatient with them when I am with them.

Or, I wish I were able to sit down with my Bible and study at a time each day when I'm most likely to retain what I read. Instead, I either try to cram it in while eating during my lunch hour or I do battle with my eyelids at night. Sadly, more often than not, I simply opt out.

Or, I think about the many projects on my list that I could be working on, if only I were home. Projects that I begin with enthusiasm, but never seem to finish because I run out of steam and motivation while waiting for a good time to work on them in between mothering and working.

I also think about this blog. Thinking it would be nice to have the time to devote to it. I think of it often. I love to write. And I have a lot that I could write about. I'm sure someone out there deals with the same issues I do. And I know there are hundreds of folks with the same interests because I read the blogs. What, I wonder, am I supposed to do with this blog? Should I just consider it a nice thought, in theory, but just not realistic?

I think about a lot of things while I'm at my job. Just not my job. While these things are not bad things, thinking about them at work causes me to be a less than diligent employee. Something that leaves me feeling guilty, which tells me this isn't something God is doing.

I know that God gave me all these things in my life that I love and enjoy. He also gave me a job that I wasn't qualified for at a time in my life when I needed to have an income. And I needed to be surrounded by caring, Christian people. He provided what I needed, when I needed it.

Why do I struggle so much with focusing on my job? Why do I complain? Because I've let my own desires overshadow God's blessings and distort the Truth. I believe all the things my mind drifts to while I'm at work are good, God-given desires. But, I think there are things He needs to teach me before I'm able to receive them. I believe He's teaching me self-discipline and at the same time, He's revealing the gifts He's equipped me with. In exercising the one, I believe I will receive the other.

I've learned a little something about life in the last decade. The things that bring joy in life are gifts from a loving God. Our gifts fulfill a yearning in our spirits and our individual gifts and talents come easy to us. I don't believe that God gifted us with interests and abilities to merely use them whenever we can squeeze them in. I believe the secret to finding purpose lies in realizing our gifts and utilizing them in a way that edifies - not only ourselves, but others, as well - and in a way that brings glory to God. Once we realize His purpose in our lives, we need to receive it and continually seek His grace in fulfilling it.

I have so much more to offer my family than what I'm giving them. They deserve the best I have to offer. And the best I have to offer is not merely the weekends and a paycheck. I don't believe this is the way God intended it to be. But this is where I am right now. I've been very slow at learning the lessons He's been trying to teach me for so many years. Lessons about family, money, gifts, and faith.

Needless to say, I'm listening a little closer for that still small voice these days. The One I know would never steer me wrong.

Heavenly Father, I pray that You will grant me the grace to fulfill the purpose which you intended for me. Help me to balance the responsibilities of family and work that You have set before me and to do so with diligence and integrity. Help me to always work as if unto You without grumbling or complaining. In Jesus' name. Amen.

A Dream and A Prayer

2010-12-23T01:24:00.000-08:00

A couple of nights ago, I had a dream about a girl I graduated high school with. I was never close to this girl at all, really. I was in the band (band geek) and she was the "feature twirler." Pretty and popular. We were worlds apart. I've seen her from a distance around town here and there, but haven't spoken a word to her since high school. Even then, I can't recall a single conversation I ever had with her.

Point is, this dream came right out of the blue. I've seen her face pop up on my Facebook friend suggestion page, but, since I recently decided not to add anymore people I don't normally associate with to my list of friends, I chose not to send her a request.

Then, night before last, I dreamed about her. She was crying. I didn't know what the circumstances were, but she was worried about her two boys. She would cry and then she would smile, like she was trying to be strong and not show her pain. I woke the following morning thinking that I really needed to send her that friend request, just to connect with her and to tell her that I was praying for her.

I did that this morning. I looked on her profile tonight (which was private until she added me as a friend) and was surprised to find out that she does have two boys and from the posts I read, she is sick and undergoing some kind of treatment. The details were sketchy, but she did mention that she had recently purchased a wig, but her hair hasn't fallen out yet. I can only assume it's cancer.

That just goes to show how anytime someone from our past comes to mind, it may very well be God's way of nudging us into prayer for that person. I will continue to pray for my "friend" even though we remain practically strangers. I feel honored that God chose me to lift her up in prayer.

Crowned

2010-05-03T20:27:00.000-07:00

This past Friday night, I went with several girls from our youth group at church to an event called "Crowned." A young man named Matt Pitt spoke to the girls about purity and conducting themselves as the princesses they are - as daughters of the King of Kings. He stressed, in his own energetic and comical way, how valuable we are in God's eyes. Something we all need to hear from time to time, no matter how old or young we are. It was a powerful service. I don't think there was a dry eye in the house.

Here are our girls as we were waiting to get into the auditorium. Aren't they beautiful?

The photo above was taken during a drama they were performing during the service (sorry for the poor photo quality). I wish I had a video to show you. It was awesome!

And here are the girls with Matt after the service.

Oops, we left out Kyla....

See why the kids love him!

What amazes me is the tremendous gift Matt Pitt has been given to reach our youth. He went through a period of his young life with drug and alcohol problems. His parents found out he had a problem when they visited him in college. They promptly took him home to get help. Then, one night in their basement, after his parents had come to the conclusion that there wasn't much more they could do to help him, his dad sat him down and gave him an ultimatum. That very night, in the basement, Matt was led to the Lord by his father.

After that night, Matt began inviting friends to his house, to the basement, so they, too, could experience God the way he had. What began with about four people gathering in his basement worshiping together turned into a huge gathering of hundreds, if not thousands, of youth, moving from church to church to accommodate the growing numbers.

Now, this group meets at The Church of the Highlands in Birmingham, Alabama. The event is known simply as "The Basement."

Lives are being changed. Droves of kids are being led to Christ and it's all because God has used the life of this one young man. God led Matt from a life of hopeless addiction to a life of ministry. Truly amazing.

We should never under estimate our trials because who knows what wonderful things God has planned as a result.

For more information on this wonderful ministry, you can visit their website here. I've not been to a regular service before, but I plan to go with my kids over the summer. Maybe I'll see you there!

Blessings,

Mirror Makeover

2010-05-02T18:19:00.000-07:00

My in-laws recently cleaned out their old house and we had a huge yard sale together at my sister-in-law's house. Sadly, in the five hours I helped work the yard sale, I only made $20 (but, hey, that's $20, right?). My sister-in-law raked in over $200, though, so it wasn't a total waste. Plus, I brought home several of her cast-offs, so I can definitely say that it was worth it and you'll see why.

I have several projects in the works, but I recently completed one. Yay!! This mirror was included in the junk that I brought home from the yard sale.

It was originally a gold-ish color (I think), but she decided she wanted it to be a pewter color, so she got hold of it with some spray paint and, lucky for me, didn't like the result. I, too, had big plans for this mirror.

It was a little rough to the touch, sort of like the paint that was previously used had a texture to it, kind of like sand. So, I used some 180 grit sand paper and lightly sanded away the rough spots. (Sorry, I didn't think to take close-up before pictures).

I placed newspaper over the mirror and then taped it in place with painter's tape all the way around. Now for the fun part. Two or three good coats of Heirloom White spray paint.

I'm kind of new to this blogging thing and didn't think about how my "during" pictures would look. You can see how sophisticated my work area is. I didn't have enough newspaper to go all the way around, so I kept sliding it over to get the spots that I needed to paint. The wind was also blowing a little, so that made it a little more frustrating. See the wood pieces on top of the newspaper? Paper weights. Next time, I'll know better. Hopefully.

I really like the way it looked painted white. So much so that I almost didn't do the final step - glazing. I decided to go for it because I could always re-paint it white if it turned out horrible. Because there are so many little crevices in the details, I used a small artist's brush to be sure I got every little nook and cranny. Then, after a couple of minutes, wiped it off with a damp paper towel. I used q-tips and a clean paint brush to wipe out the crevices to my liking.

I really like the way it turned out! I haven't decided where, exactly, I want to hang it, so I leaned it against the wall on my buffet to see if it grows on me. It may end up in my bedroom (another work in progress).

Here's the before again...

and after...

So, I'm ready to start my next project. Here's a peek...

Another freebie from the yard sale. Stay tuned.

Blessings,

Christa

I'm linking up here:

A Gentle Reminder

2010-04-26T09:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I get really interested in something to the point I lose perspective and get all wrapped up in the not-so-important things in life. Fortunately for me, God often takes those opportunities to remind me of what is most important.

I've recently taken up photography as a hobby. My husband bought me a new camera as an early Christmas present last fall, and since then, I've been snapping pictures everywhere. LOTS of pictures. On Easter Sunday alone, I took over 260 pictures. That may not seem like a lot for some folks, but for me, it really is. I've been so immersed in learning this new hobby of mine that I tend to focus more on taking pictures of my family than on actually enjoying my family. These two pictures are among my favorites that I took that day. Something about them just speaks to me.

I'm a little biased, I know. What mother doesn't feel that way about pictures of her kids?

A friend of mine told me that one day, I'd look at that bottom photo and just cry a river. I'm sure I will. I sort of already do. Even with all the teenage drama at my house, I wouldn't trade being their mom for anything in the world.

(I could use a little less drama, but you gotta take the good with the bad, right?)

I had these enlarged and will be framing them soon. More photos to come.

Blessings,
Christa

It's On Now...

2010-03-04T16:53:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I was reminded of how important it is to start early in teaching our children modesty. The older my kids get, the more I see the fight for their purity is imminent. I see it everywhere…at the mall, at school, even at church, which is particularly troublesome.

I was reading here yesterday and this part really caught my attention: “Women go to church wearing short skirts with slits up the back, and worship God without a care in the world. Meanwhile, the guy behind them is struggling to focus on God, instead of her body.”

I immediately thought of the youth at my church who sit in the first two or three rows during our church services. They're great kids, but I have noticed many times that some of them dress as though they're more suited for street-walking than for worship. (maybe I exaggerated just a hair, but you get my drift)

How does Lucy Teen-ager’s low cut, curve-hugging blue jeans and tight fitting shirt affect Mr. Smith who is standing behind her trying desperately to focus on worship? Or, how does that scenario affect the teenage boy who is a veritable landmine of raging hormones? How can they possibly not notice a woman dressed like that?

They do notice. And that’s a problem.

Church services have become more contemporary these days and, as such, are moving towards a “come as you are” philosophy to encourage church attendance. I think this must have started with some congregation trying to encourage church attendance by denouncing the unspoken rule that one must arrive at church donning “Sunday” clothes, else be ostracized and forever pegged a heathen.

I think it worked, to some degree. After all, everyone doesn’t have “Sunday” clothes. And I’ve known people whose past experience in church left them feeling inferior and self-conscious because they didn’t have clothes as nice as everyone else. Of course, we all know that going to church isn’t about what you wear. But for some people, the dress code could potentially make or break their decision to stay in church.

The problem I see with the “come as you are” philosophy where church is concerned is this – it needs some boundaries. This isn’t so much an issue with the older generations who are still somewhat accustomed to breaking out their Sunday best every week, but for our youth, it has become a way of life. They think nothing of it. Telling a teenager to “come as you are,” is basically saying “wear whatever you want, no matter how sleazy it looks.”

Not sure exactly how to attack this issue, but it’s one that I feel is important. It's one I intend to fight. Church, of all places, should be a safe place where the struggles of everyday life are surrendered and abandoned at the cross. It shouldn’t be the setting of yet another moral obstacle to hurdle.

There has to be a gentle way to ask the kids to leave the hoochy clothes at home.

We just need to teach our kids modesty. We need to set the example and teach them how to protect their purity and how to protect the purity of others by dressing appropriately…everywhere they go.

Blessings,

Christa

Autumn in Alabama

2009-12-01T18:45:00.000-08:00

Last thing I recall, it was late September and I was pulling out the Halloween decorations. Before I knew it, Thanksgiving had come and gone. What happened to October, anyway? Now, it's time to decorate for Christmas {heavy sigh}. But first, here are some highlights from Autumn 2009.

We had our annual Halloween party, which conveniently fell on a Saturday this year. We've had a party for the last six years and typically, I really get into it. Over the last couple of years, though, not so much. I love the fun aspect of it and the memories of trick-or-treating as a kid, but I don't like what the holiday stands for and I don't care to celebrate it for that reason. I don't know yet whether we'll have a Halloween party next year...maybe a Harvest party instead...and maybe not on Halloween.

Pictured here as "Abby" from NCIS is Jess. I gotta admit, that was a pretty good costume she threw together. There's my mom, the witch (in direct contrast to her personality), and my cousin, Jimmy, as Barak Obama.

From there, we played in the leaves at the blue house...

Janie and Kaylee played in the leaves, anyway, and the guys played a little football. It was just a beautiful autumn day! That's my front door there with the wreath, the trunk that I never know what to do with, and some potpourri that I found at Michael's (the store, not the husband). And that's the mountainside that sits next to our house. Beautiful! God is awesome, isn't He?

I really didn't take many pictures at Thanksgiving. We had a nice one, though, and a nice four and a half days off from work. Wouldn't you know it, come Monday morning, it was raining and gloomy out. Very hard to go back...

Blessings,

Christa

Divorce is NOT an Option

2009-10-21T11:55:00.000-07:00

Obviously, it’s been a while since I posted. There’s been a lot going on. Life is crazy and I feel very dry…but I’m going to post anyway.

We’ve had some issues going on in our immediate family that have left me and my husband emotionally drained. I won’t go into details, but I will say emphatically, it just isn’t easy being a blended family and don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise! For anyone who may be contemplating divorce, I would suggest that you rethink that decision again and again and again and pray like crazy until you can wholeheartedly say, “divorce is NOT an option.”

The children of divorced families suffer immeasurably over the loss of their original family, regardless of how young they are at the time of the divorce. Not that good things can’t come out of bad situations – my husband and I have been very blessed in our re-marriage, and the credit for that goes to God alone. I’m just saying that while you’re there at that fork in the road, feeling like you just can’t take it anymore – consider the blessings that lie on the other side of perseverance. You were led to this place for a reason. No one ever said life or marriage would be a piece of cake. God allows trials in our lives, and yes, in our marriage, to make us stronger, but if we throw in the towel just short of realizing that strength, we forfeit the blessings that go along with it. However you think your life will improve by divorcing your current spouse, your blessings will be even greater if you stay for the long haul and work through your issues.

After divorce, we may get on with our lives and find happiness in another relationship, but our children continue to live in the rubble that our selfishness created. The sooner we accept that and become proactive in making a healthy marriage a priority, the better off we'll be. The better off our children will be. And, at the risk of sounding radical, the better off our nation will be as a whole. Whatever idiosyncrasies your spouse has that drive you nuts – that’s nothing compared to the heartache that your children will bear for the rest of their lives if you choose to end your marriage.

I know from experience that placing Christ at the center of your marriage is the key. No two self-centered human beings are infallible in their own strength. We stumble. We fall into temptation. We fail. Invite God into your marriage and witness for yourself the changes that will take place. It's amazing to watch as problems that once left your marriage paralyzed with anger and bitterness simply disperse into a fine mist - leaving behind something absolutely breath-taking - a love for your spouse like you've never known before. God will do that for you, if you'll only ask Him to.

That’s my two cents for the day.

Blessings,

Christa

What's Love Got To Do With It?

2009-09-22T12:11:00.000-07:00

In the years following my divorce and remarriage, I’ve developed a soft spot in my heart for the family unit and a strongly-held conviction that the family needs to be restored to what God intended it to be. So, while I'm on a roll with my deep thinkin', here's what I've been pondering today regarding family.

I have three teenagers. Each of them has, at one time or another, had a girl friend or boy friend (someone with whom they are “going out,” even though none of them can officially date yet). With our kids pairing off at such young ages, I find myself deeply concerned, and up until now, I’ve not really known what to do about it.

On the one hand, I feel like these “puppy love” relationships are harmless. They are never left alone and unsupervised. On the other, I fear that this kind of relationship sets them up for hardened hearts later on (from break-ups and heartaches experienced before marriage) and a likelihood that they’ll one day look at marriage from the perspective “this probably won’t last either.” Not to mention the fact that teenage relationships like this might very well complicate hormonal issues that are hard enough to deal with when the opposite sex isn’t yet a factor.

A little radical, you think? Maybe. But when you consider the ever prevalent moral decline of our society...maybe not.

Will a relationship that begins at 13, 14, or 15 really last a lifetime in our day and age?

We’ve allowed something that God intended to be beautiful and loving to become perverted to the point that the ideology of a “first and only” love relationship is practically foreign to this generation. With American culture being what it is, our kids don’t really have a chance to experience “true love” the way our parents and grandparents did. They may catch a glimmer of it, but with the sex-saturated nature of our culture, by the time a kid is marrying age, they already know everything there is to know about the opposite sex. They've had plenty of practice with plenty of partners. We need to change that. We need to start teaching our kids, in no uncertain terms and on a daily basis, that love, sex, and marriage are God-given, beautiful blessings to be enjoyed and treasured, and that what the world teaches them about it is fundamentally wrong.

Without some radical changes taking place at home, traditional marriage will surely become obsolete. To a great degree, it already has. I believe the turn-around starts with us, as parents, setting standards for our children that are higher than those of the world. We have to get radical in our child-rearing. We have to stop worrying about whether our kids like us or not and start doing what is necessary to change their future. We have to stop compromising.

We need to take our families back!

Blessings,
Christa

Epiphany

2009-09-21T15:22:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 30:21: Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

I had an epiphany this morning. I'll get to that in a minute, but first, a little background.

Ten years ago, God led me to the job at which I work now. I know it was God leading me because at the time, I had no skills to speak of, and, had this job not just fallen into my lap the way it did, I never would have dreamed of applying for such a position. I’m not trying to beat myself up, but I knew that I was highly under qualified. Nevertheless, in His usual, amazing way, God gave me the opportunity right out of nowhere – and I didn’t even ask for it! He led me through all my fear and insecurity to get me to a point where I could earn a decent living (it still baffles me to this day!). Then, when interest in my job began to wane, He led me through several years of selfish and unrealistic goals that I'd set for myself, and showed me ever so gently how desperately I need His guidance. He showed me what’s really important in life. He was always there with me and for most of that time, I didn’t even realize it.

I’ve been unsatisfied and discontented at my job for so long now, I find myself continually looking for something better. I went back to college for a while, thinking I wanted to become a paralegal, and ultimately, a lawyer (a dream I'd had since jr. high school). I really felt driven to "be" somebody. I became discouraged with school, though, because it wasn’t progressing as quickly as I wanted, and I was losing interest. Not to mention the issues at home…parenting four kids, being a wife, and full-time employee just didn’t mesh well with going to class until 10:00 at night. I just couldn't seem to make it work.

Somewhere in the midst of paralegal classes, I decided that I might give nursing a try. So, reminiscent of my earlier college days when I was fresh out of high school, I switched gears mid-stream and started taking nursing courses. Let’s just say that biology is not my “thang.” Neither is blood. Or any other bodily fluid. What was I thinking??

I’ve spent years making foolish decisions like this because I didn’t bother to seek guidance from God. I never prayed about any of these brilliant notions. I just followed what I thought at the time were good instincts. Or, in the case of becoming a lawyer, I thought I was following my heart.

More recently, I’ve been thinking of taking online courses in web design. It’s something I’m interested in and it would allow me to be creative – something my current job totally lacks. If I have to work, I figured I should at least enjoy what I'm doing. But when I thought of the extra expense we’d be taking on for another endeavor like that, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not with my track record. This time, I prayed. And I chalked that bad feeling up to the Lord’s leading me in another direction. I didn’t need to go that route again.

So, this morning, I got to thinking. I began to look at what has remained constant in my life since I started working ten years ago – my marriage, my family, my job, and the desire to homeschool. I’ve wanted to homeschool my kids for about two and a half years now, with no real deviation from that desire. I’d try to suppress it from time to time, wondering if that, too, wasn’t just another crazy idea I’d concocted out of discontentment with my job. The desire would always come back, though. And usually stronger than before.

Sounds like continuity to me. Maybe this is what I should focus on.

Instead of going deeper into debt for more education (that I may or may not even finish - again), I should redirect my focus on getting out of debt so that I can homeschool! It's so clear to me now!! I was blessed with a great job. One that I would never have landed in my own efforts. I need to use those God-given provisions to pay off the debt that is hindering me from making homeschool a reality. I’ve had the resources to make it happen all this time, but I’ve failed to see God’s wonderful provision through all my doubt and discouragement.

Thank you God, for showing me the way! You truly are the Great Provider!

Can I Get A Witness?

2009-09-17T10:41:00.000-07:00

The last few days have been difficult for me. I'm waiting for some tests to come back from my trip to the doctor Tuesday afternoon. I've been feeling some awful strong emotions and crying at the drop of a hat. I've always been a crier, but this is different. It comes in waves. Or whenever I think of my kids. Or whenever someone talks to me, is nice to me, is mean to me, or looks at me the wrong way.

Sounds hormonal to me.

On a different note, I've often wondered what it feels like to know that you are called to work for the Lord. Of course, I feel like we're all called to do the work of the Lord in some capacity, but I'm talking about seriously dedicating your life to that purpose - like starting a ministry. What does that feel like? Does everything in your life just glow with divine radiance once you come to that revelation? Or do things get more difficult and require more from you - more spiritually, emotionally, and physically - before you actually get to the point of living out that calling?

Just wondering.

Blessings,
Christa

My Family

2009-09-13T12:27:00.001-07:00

I thought I'd post some photos of my family.

Here's me and my husband during a trip to Stone Mountain, Georgia, last year. He got sick from the BBQ from this restaurant...despite that, my getting mad at him later on that day, and the fact that it rained {buckets} most of the weekend, it was a nice trip. Really. It was!

And here we are at the beach. From left: Logan, Sean, Janie (in front), Me, Jess, and Michael in back. I love this picture, even though I thought someone might die before we actually took it. Everyone was hungry, mom was irritable, and no one wanted to cooperate. We had a great dinner at Captain Anderson's afterward, so we got over the trauma pretty quick.
It's never been easy to get my family together for a photo. Sometimes the memories surrounding our pictures aren't very pleasant, but that's ok. I love 'em just the same.

Blessings,
Christa

Change of Plans

2009-09-13T06:30:00.001-07:00

So, we didn't quite make it to the beach. Long story, but here's the skinny:

My son, Logan, got sick the day we were going to leave and out of fear that he may have the flu crud that's going around, we debated over whether it was a good idea to leave town or not.

In the midst of trying to decide, I received a rather unusual call from a very dear friend of mine. Suffice it to say that after that call, I was sure that we should not go to the beach after all. My friend is going through a tough time right now and I pray that she's on the road to recovery. That's all I'll say about that.

Logan got better, thanks to the wonderful people who make Tamiflu, but my older son, Sean, became puny Sunday morning. He wasn't so fortunate. He was diagnosed with the flu on Tuesday of last week. He's better now, thank the Lord, but for a while there, he was pretty miserable. His only symptoms were sore throat, fever, and chills. No body aches, no cough (in the beginning). I just knew it was strep throat and not the flu. Go figure.

And here we are a week later. I keep expecting to come down with it myself. Or someone else in the family. We'll see. I pray that we don't. It's nasty stuff.

Blessings,
Christa

Road Trip

2009-09-02T15:13:00.000-07:00

The Labor Day weekend is approaching and you know what that means...three-day weekend! Yes, for the working girl, a three-day weekend is big. Especially when there's no more vacation time left to take.

So, we're loading up and heading to the beach. This time, my 13-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter will be the only ones going with us. For some reason, the kids have quite a bad taste in their mouth for the beach. So much so that the older two chose to pick up trash in our community (youth project at church) rather than be subject to the 72 hour misery that is a family trip to the beach. I suppose that if we were staying in a condo, they'd change their tune a bit, but we will be staying in the travel trailer we bought a couple of years ago. We thought it might bring us closer as a family. Apparently, it's a little too close for comfort for the sophisticated tastes of our 15-year-olds. It must cramp their style somewhat to be seen in such close proximity to their parents.

Do people still say that something cramps their style? That probably went out with Fonzie.

Or maybe we're just boring.

We took the boys and our younger daughter down in June (our other daughter was with her mother...yours, mine, and ours) and it appeared to me that they were trying to have a bad time. We thought they'd love going to the water park, so we dropped a pretty penny and spent a whole day there. All the boys wanted to do was sit around in lounge chairs and complain that it was too hot. One of them did enjoy the wave pool once, and I forced them both to grab an innertube and float down the lazy river. Who doesn't like the lazy river, for crying out loud? When I was a kid, I'd have been thrilled to pieces to go to the water park.

I don't think we're all that boring. I think kids are just different now. Too many video games. Too much television. It really isn't their fault. It's ours.

In any event, we're going to the beach, leaving two behind. It makes me sad. They're staying behind for a good cause, though. I'm proud of them. I think they're wonderful.

Blessings,
Christa

The Voice

2009-08-31T09:39:00.000-07:00

Here is something I wrote earlier this year during a particularly rough period with my son...

My younger son is 13. A vulnerable age – wedged snugly between boyhood and manhood. I can only imagine that’s a very confusing place to be. He’s a thinker – very insightful. Over the course of the past several months, he's expressed serious questions about life, about himself, and about God. He told me recently, in no uncertain terms, that he didn’t believe in God. As hard that was for me to hear, I believe he is genuinely looking for answers to his questions. He wants tangible proof that God exists.

After he dropped the bomb of disbelief on me that night, we read scripture together. Whether he was open to believe God’s Word or not, I knew that was the only place to find answers to his questions. We read and we talked. We talked about finding our worth in God and not in what the world thinks we should be. We talked about finding purpose in life through all the disappointments and obstacles we face. We also talked about spiritual gifts - how we find our unique gift and use it to glorify God. We talked about several things that night, but most important, I think, was our talk about how we should not allow Satan to steal our joy by listening to his lies, because Satan knows our weaknesses and he preys on those weaknesses in order to bring us to the point of despair – to the point of losing hope, and ultimately, losing our faith. This, I feared, is the point my son had reached.

Surprisingly, on the Sunday morning following that talk, my son wanted to sit with me at church. He usually sits with his friends from the youth group in the front pews, but for whatever reason, my confused baby boy chose to sit with me that day, and I was honored. I hadn’t expected my husband to come to church that day. He has doubts and questions of his own, and going to church with us has been a struggle for him. But lo and behold, he came! He was late, but he came! As I sat there between my husband and my troubled son, I thanked God for His goodness and His grace.

The chatter in the sanctuary quieted down as the pastor opened the service with prayer. I cried as he prayed, struggling to focus on the words of his prayer through my tears. I didn’t know for sure if it was hormones causing my tears or if I was truly moved by the Holy Spirit. Not to take away from the moving of the Spirit, but I cry a lot. My crying in church is no rare occasion. In fact, it’s pretty much a sure thing – like death and taxes. On this day, though, I wasn’t just crying, as a general term. I was weeping. The tears were coming from deep within me; my soul ached for a healing touch from the Lord. I have felt an aching spirit before, but today, the ache seemed stronger than ever. In addition to the struggles with my son and our other three children, my husband and I had battled various issues throughout our marriage of eight years, and the battle seemed endless. I wanted peace. I wanted unity. I needed to hear from God. Our family desperately needed healing and God was the only One who could provide it.

The choir began to sing and the congregation gradually joined in. The praise and worship was more powerful that day than it had felt in a long time, at least for me. As I stood there listening to the music, I felt like singing, but all I could do was bow my head, close my eyes, and let the words and music penetrate to the core of me. My tears spilled out onto my hands as I grasped the pew in front of me. I felt detached somehow. Like a scene in a movie where a person is unconscious and can hear those around him, but is unable to respond.

I prayed. I don’t know exactly what I prayed for, but I prayed. My mind seemed to race. There was so much in my life that needed God’s touch; I didn’t even know where to begin. My mind scrambled for something to say. “Please Lord, please just help us! Bring what we need! Help my son - open his fragile heart and help him see you Lord, protect him from Satan’s lies! Strengthen my marriage…please, Lord!” I went on and on, rambling requests to God about nothing in particular, but everything in general. Then, through my mind’s voice and my heart’s cries, I heard it. The words were so clear that I actually looked over to my left where my son stood because that’s where it seemed to come from. The voice was distinctly different from that of my mind. This voice was gentle and soothing. I clearly heard the words.

"It will be ok."

Was that Him? I’d always heard people talk about hearing the Lord telling them this or that. How does that sound? How do you know it's really Him?

Feeling a bit confused, I took a deep breath and my tears began to subside. I felt a rush of peace and contentment come over me as I looked up through moist, foggy eyes. My racing thoughts slowed as I recalled the words I had just heard. “It will be ok.” Not exactly earth-shattering, and a little more vague than I would have thought, but comforting nonetheless.

The worship music sounded so sweet; I began to sing. The desperation and grief I had felt a moment ago was completely gone. The Spirit of the Lord was there, and he was standing right beside me – between me and my troubled son! He spoke to me. He heard the cries of my heart and He spoke to me!

Shortly after that precious moment, we sat down and my son leaned over to rest his head on my shoulder. This is a boy who typically pulls away at the slightest indication that I might touch him. I was surprised at first, and thought that perhaps he was merely tired and wanted a place to rest his sleepy head. Even if that was the case, it was fine with me. I began to cry again, only this time it was tears of joy. Tears of thanksgiving. I leaned my head over to rest on his and we sat there together, listening to the music fade as the pastor began his sermon. I sat very still, trying to stifle my sobs of joy for fear that he would lift his head from my shoulder. I reveled in the closeness I felt with him at that moment.

Eventually, he did move his head and sat up in the pew. I wondered if he was listening to the sermon. He was fidgety, as usual. Examining his fingernails. Squirming. My initial instinct was to nudge him with my elbow and tell him to be still and listen. Then I remembered the voice I’d heard moments earlier. “It will be ok.” Trusting in my Assurance, I returned my attention to the sermon. Something the pastor said at that point really hit home. He spoke of the lies Satan tells us, with the intention to steal our joy and to discourage us. To distract us from the One who gives us joy. I leaned over to my son and whispered in his ear, “do you remember our talk about this the other night?” “Yes,” he answered. He was listening. Thank you, God, he was listening!

After the service concluded, there was a rare smile on my son’s face. I don’t know if he was able to comprehend all that happened that day, but I was happy to see that smile. The Lord worked in our lives during that service. God heard my cries, He knew my pain and that of my son. He was there that day with His arms around us, and He assured me “it will be ok.” Perhaps I felt more from the Lord that day than my son did, but I know what I heard. I know why I heard it. On this day, I’d heard the voice of the Lord assure me, “it will be ok.”

“I trust you, Lord,” I said, with my arm around my son. “I trust you to give him what he needs.”

Blessings,

Christa